Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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