Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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