"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Threesome in a minivan. New low
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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