So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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