Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
