So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize