evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize