I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
