We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
