i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
