just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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