How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
