I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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