Betty ford says i'm here all night
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
