he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
