i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
