Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize