We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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