K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
