Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Drunk is a universal language darling
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