while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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