it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I wish you could order shots online.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
