One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
