I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
