Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
