are you still at the devil's house?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
