I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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