I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
