Where is the hickey?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
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