So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
