I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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