It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
