I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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