i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize