my phone needs a breathalizer
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
