Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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