At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize