cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
