I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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