He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
So squirting runs in the family.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
