well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
