Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
