Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
