a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
