I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
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