Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
