I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
