Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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