HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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