Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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