u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
