Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
