So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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