i just wanna soil my oats bro
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
