booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
This is my gift to your gina
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
