im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
