The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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