Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
