apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
