May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
