This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
