Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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