i don't like sucking hair
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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