Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
