I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
