he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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