I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
