when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
