just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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