R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
